SINGAPORE: There are two things that Singaporeans are terrible at. The first is using a public toilet without wetting all critical contact areas with questionable liquids. The second: Traversing our local roads without losing all civility at the slightest provocation.
Proof of the former is presented as soon as you urgently need to use a publicly accessible toilet.
Evidence of the latter is in digital abundance all over social media. Click on any Singapore-focused Facebook group that contains the keywords “traffic” or “roads” and heated exchanges between local motorists are on full display for all to see.
Government campaigns reminding us to be more responsible throne users rather than abusers do exist - the National Environment Agency’s Clean Public Toilets initiative, for instance. While this is perhaps embarrassing enough for a modernised society, there is no equivalent “Stop Behaving Like Baboons on Roads” campaign for road users.
I do try my darndest to ensure my toilet use is respectful of others - but, in all fairness and honesty, I cannot say the same for my state of mind behind the wheel. For whatever reason, I too become an incoherent screaming ape when it comes to any form of perceived and even minor mishap or misunderstanding on our roads.
For my first decade of being a motorist, I did not know I had a road rage problem. It was only made apparent to me when, a few months after moving back to Singapore, my wife said to me in the car, “Why are you like this whenever you drive in Singapore?”
By then, our driver-passenger relationship had been ongoing for a few years. Needless to say, it was a shocking revelation for me.
It took a lot of soul-searching for me to even admit to it.
What did help was another key observation of hers.
For the first three years of our driver-passenger relationship, we lived in Kuala Lumpur and then Hong Kong, where driving was admittedly a less stressful experience altogether.
In KL, even though traffic at times was insanely bottlenecked, driving was laid-back and I never lost my cool. I distinctly remember being caught, several times, in the massive Jalan Ampang junction for a full hour - most of which was spent at a complete standstill. And yet, there were hardly any altercations or scuffles. Everyone just went along with it.
In Hong Kong, it’s par for the course for drivers to make way for trams, taxis and minibuses - and they do so without complaints or yelling.
But as soon as we moved back to Singapore, as far as my wife did observe, I became something else.
I was less patient with pedestrians, eager to stop other drivers from cutting into my lane and, worst of all, I was ever ready to jump out of the car for an expletive-filled shouting match at any given opportunity.
I finally saw it: My road rage wasn’t just real. It was localised.
File photo. "For my first decade of being a motorist, I did not know I had a road rage problem," says the writer. (Photo: iStock)
Years of my wife calling me out whenever I aped out on the road has led to a much milder motorist in me. With three kids in tow now, drilled into me the importance of family safety first over “getting there” first - and it’s stuck.
It also helped that I got some of that repressed anger out through sports and martial arts, where I quickly learnt that there are no winners in a street brawl - only the hurt, and the arrested. Much better to stay in the car and simply ask for insurance details when the need arises.
But the folly of road rage extends beyond potential collisions.
Two years ago, our whole family was in the car when a reckless driver suddenly swerved into our lane. I had to hit the brakes to narrowly avoid an accident - but that unrepentant driver simply sped off.
The smorgasbord of Malay-Hokkien-Tamil curses that spewed out of my mouth were so horrifically explicit that my children reeled back in absolute horror.
My daughter whimpered, “Baba… don’t. He might be having a bad day.”
In that moment, I was suddenly deeply aware of my recklessness and lack of self-restraint. I knew without a doubt that my daughter was right. Her empathy was on point.
I’m lucky to have a literal check and balance to my unacceptable motoring demeanour. I have not only my wife but children to keep me on my toes and my best behaviour.
But this still doesn’t answer the question: Why are Singapore motorists like this on our own roads?
My take: The anger that manifests on the asphalt comes from other areas of our lives where we harbour unresolved fury.
Navigating the hustle and bustle of our little city-state is by no means easy. We’re rather like the rats in the Universe 25 Experiment - all cooped up in a well-constructed but increasingly cramped environment, ever ready to bite each other’s tails off at the slightest provocation.
Unfortunately, our roads seem to have become our national battlegrounds upon which we work out our frustrations at the real conflicts in our lives.
Perhaps we should have designated fight zones at major junctions, complete with a standard ring and spare gloves for a quick anger exorcism. It may sound brutal, but it might end up proving more effective than “Stop Behaving Like Baboons on Roads” campaign posters plastered all over my flat’s multi-storey car park.
We need to, as a nation, find better ways to exorcise our rage than on fellow road users. The areas afforded to us for free expression are limited - but surely we can do better than yet another umbrella fight between drivers.
Imran Johri is a marketing and editorial professional and a father of three.
Continue reading...
Proof of the former is presented as soon as you urgently need to use a publicly accessible toilet.
Evidence of the latter is in digital abundance all over social media. Click on any Singapore-focused Facebook group that contains the keywords “traffic” or “roads” and heated exchanges between local motorists are on full display for all to see.
Government campaigns reminding us to be more responsible throne users rather than abusers do exist - the National Environment Agency’s Clean Public Toilets initiative, for instance. While this is perhaps embarrassing enough for a modernised society, there is no equivalent “Stop Behaving Like Baboons on Roads” campaign for road users.
I do try my darndest to ensure my toilet use is respectful of others - but, in all fairness and honesty, I cannot say the same for my state of mind behind the wheel. For whatever reason, I too become an incoherent screaming ape when it comes to any form of perceived and even minor mishap or misunderstanding on our roads.
HELLO, MY NAME IS IMRAN, AND I HAVE A ROAD RAGE PROBLEM
For my first decade of being a motorist, I did not know I had a road rage problem. It was only made apparent to me when, a few months after moving back to Singapore, my wife said to me in the car, “Why are you like this whenever you drive in Singapore?”
By then, our driver-passenger relationship had been ongoing for a few years. Needless to say, it was a shocking revelation for me.
It took a lot of soul-searching for me to even admit to it.
Related:
What did help was another key observation of hers.
For the first three years of our driver-passenger relationship, we lived in Kuala Lumpur and then Hong Kong, where driving was admittedly a less stressful experience altogether.
In KL, even though traffic at times was insanely bottlenecked, driving was laid-back and I never lost my cool. I distinctly remember being caught, several times, in the massive Jalan Ampang junction for a full hour - most of which was spent at a complete standstill. And yet, there were hardly any altercations or scuffles. Everyone just went along with it.
In Hong Kong, it’s par for the course for drivers to make way for trams, taxis and minibuses - and they do so without complaints or yelling.
But as soon as we moved back to Singapore, as far as my wife did observe, I became something else.
I was less patient with pedestrians, eager to stop other drivers from cutting into my lane and, worst of all, I was ever ready to jump out of the car for an expletive-filled shouting match at any given opportunity.
I finally saw it: My road rage wasn’t just real. It was localised.
File photo. "For my first decade of being a motorist, I did not know I had a road rage problem," says the writer. (Photo: iStock)
THE CURSE OF THE CURSING MOTORIST
Years of my wife calling me out whenever I aped out on the road has led to a much milder motorist in me. With three kids in tow now, drilled into me the importance of family safety first over “getting there” first - and it’s stuck.
It also helped that I got some of that repressed anger out through sports and martial arts, where I quickly learnt that there are no winners in a street brawl - only the hurt, and the arrested. Much better to stay in the car and simply ask for insurance details when the need arises.
But the folly of road rage extends beyond potential collisions.
Two years ago, our whole family was in the car when a reckless driver suddenly swerved into our lane. I had to hit the brakes to narrowly avoid an accident - but that unrepentant driver simply sped off.
The smorgasbord of Malay-Hokkien-Tamil curses that spewed out of my mouth were so horrifically explicit that my children reeled back in absolute horror.
My daughter whimpered, “Baba… don’t. He might be having a bad day.”
In that moment, I was suddenly deeply aware of my recklessness and lack of self-restraint. I knew without a doubt that my daughter was right. Her empathy was on point.
Related:
FIND BETTER WAYS
I’m lucky to have a literal check and balance to my unacceptable motoring demeanour. I have not only my wife but children to keep me on my toes and my best behaviour.
But this still doesn’t answer the question: Why are Singapore motorists like this on our own roads?
My take: The anger that manifests on the asphalt comes from other areas of our lives where we harbour unresolved fury.
Navigating the hustle and bustle of our little city-state is by no means easy. We’re rather like the rats in the Universe 25 Experiment - all cooped up in a well-constructed but increasingly cramped environment, ever ready to bite each other’s tails off at the slightest provocation.
Unfortunately, our roads seem to have become our national battlegrounds upon which we work out our frustrations at the real conflicts in our lives.
Perhaps we should have designated fight zones at major junctions, complete with a standard ring and spare gloves for a quick anger exorcism. It may sound brutal, but it might end up proving more effective than “Stop Behaving Like Baboons on Roads” campaign posters plastered all over my flat’s multi-storey car park.
We need to, as a nation, find better ways to exorcise our rage than on fellow road users. The areas afforded to us for free expression are limited - but surely we can do better than yet another umbrella fight between drivers.
Imran Johri is a marketing and editorial professional and a father of three.
Continue reading...