SINGAPORE: Talk about screen time and it inevitably becomes yet another opportunity to rag on modern parents. Believe me, I get it. I, too, was the perfect parent until I had kids.
The Ministry of Health recently updated guidelines on screen use for children, taking into consideration what research and professionals have to say about the impact on their health and development. It sounds reasonable in our tech-saturated lives. But then I read the comments.
"Parents have no patience to take care of kids and outsource the work to screens," went one online comment. "It’s your responsibility and if you can’t, don’t have kids; not everyone should be parents," went another. And "why not fine parents who shove phones in their children’s faces when eating out?"
Stop with the condescension: Does anyone actually believe parents don’t know too much screen time can be bad for children?
Being a modern parent can be overwhelming.
Increasingly, both spouses work: 52.5 per cent of married couples were dual-career in the Singapore Census of Population 2020. Surveys regularly point to Singapore employees being overworked and sleep-deprived.
To keep the tiny humans not just alive but thriving, parents are bombarded with a dizzying list of demands and warnings about their physical, mental, social and emotional health - on top of work and financial pressures, maintaining the day-to-day in a home and carving out this elusive "me time". So much so that in August last year, the United States surgeon general declared parent stress a serious public health concern.
If Bluey can buy my husband and I time to unload the washing machine and hang the laundry, we’re giving them Bluey. If Peppa Pig can keep our toddlers in their seats long enough that we do not need to shovel chicken rice down our gullet, you bet Peppa Pig is welcome at the table.
Back in the day, we didn’t have screens, kids just had to behave, I hear you say. Well, until you find a time machine, I’ll be here with my smartphone.
It’s so easy to make patronising comments about that next table where every member of the family has their nose in a screen. But have you considered you’re only witnessing one sliver in time?
Perhaps they had a whole screen-less day out, bonding at the playground or the zoo. Perhaps after thousands of meals together as a family, we should trust parents to have a sense of what works to occupy children in different situations.
Sometimes it's books, but that depends on how long the food takes to be served and how many books we want to lug around. Other times, colouring materials work, but I don’t want to be picking up markers from the food court floor every two minutes.
If we do tough it out without screens, then don’t glare at us if the children start getting restless and rowdy. Parents who try to manage tantrums appropriately get judged if we don’t shut down the disturbance immediately too. Will those who judge parents for screen use be gracious in the face of meltdowns or be the first to call for "no-kid zones"?
Ultimately, guidelines are just that. Screens have become an indispensable tool in the arsenal of modern parenting and like all tools, come with their own costs and benefits.
The shows my children watch seem to have boosted their vocabulary, introduced numeracy and exposed them to all sorts of animals. The trick is not letting the negatives cancel out the positives.
So it’s useful to know what Singapore experts deem the healthy limits of screen time: No screen use for those younger than 18 months old, less than one hour a day for those aged three to six, and less than two hours a day unless for schoolwork for those aged seven to 12.
Even without a proper study, it wouldn't be farfetched to think most kids already exceed those guidelines. Mine certainly have.
But read the MOH guidelines more closely, it’s not about obsessively clocking times on a stopwatch either. In setting the recommended time limits, the guidelines underline the need for sufficient time set aside for other activities for children to lead healthy lives.
What are the activities on option? If screen time comes at the expense of socialising or real-life learning, then one is clearly the poorer use of their time. If it’s monsoon surge weekend and we’re running out of ideas to fill the hours indoors, then more TV than usual will probably not hurt.
Being present and viewing media together is another one. Screen quality matters. Familiarity with the characters and stories also comes in handy when reinforcing lessons or new words, and they can also provide ideas for real-life activities.
My personal approach has also been to help my children learn to self-regulate. Growing up as a latchkey kid of the 90s, the television was freely accessible. Boring free-to-air programming was the natural regulator.
But with video platforms serving up content optimised to enthrall and keep them hooked, self-regulation becomes a necessary skill to learn. When my children request screen time, they are asked to set their own limit on the number of videos to watch, after which the expectation is that they turn it off without prompting.
No, it doesn’t work all the time. But when prompted to act again, they almost always choose to turn the device off themselves than let me do it. I like to think this gives them a sense of agency, and they seem more ready to self-engage thereafter.
Things can only get worse as my children grow up, start asking for a personal device and enter the age where they are most susceptible to the dangers of social media.
And I’m cognisant that I won’t look credible from where they are standing: I stare at a screen for work in a job that thrives on others staring at their screens, and pull out a different screen for leisure.
“Mama, can you put down your phone and play with me?” My daughter called me out the other night. Clearly, I’ll have to work on myself too - but let me be the judge of that.
Charlene Tan is a senior editor at CNA Digital where she oversees commentaries.
Continue reading...
The Ministry of Health recently updated guidelines on screen use for children, taking into consideration what research and professionals have to say about the impact on their health and development. It sounds reasonable in our tech-saturated lives. But then I read the comments.
"Parents have no patience to take care of kids and outsource the work to screens," went one online comment. "It’s your responsibility and if you can’t, don’t have kids; not everyone should be parents," went another. And "why not fine parents who shove phones in their children’s faces when eating out?"
Stop with the condescension: Does anyone actually believe parents don’t know too much screen time can be bad for children?
PARENTS ARE TOO TIRED FOR YOUR JUDGMENT
Being a modern parent can be overwhelming.
Increasingly, both spouses work: 52.5 per cent of married couples were dual-career in the Singapore Census of Population 2020. Surveys regularly point to Singapore employees being overworked and sleep-deprived.
To keep the tiny humans not just alive but thriving, parents are bombarded with a dizzying list of demands and warnings about their physical, mental, social and emotional health - on top of work and financial pressures, maintaining the day-to-day in a home and carving out this elusive "me time". So much so that in August last year, the United States surgeon general declared parent stress a serious public health concern.
If Bluey can buy my husband and I time to unload the washing machine and hang the laundry, we’re giving them Bluey. If Peppa Pig can keep our toddlers in their seats long enough that we do not need to shovel chicken rice down our gullet, you bet Peppa Pig is welcome at the table.
Back in the day, we didn’t have screens, kids just had to behave, I hear you say. Well, until you find a time machine, I’ll be here with my smartphone.
Related:
A SNAPSHOT IN TIME
It’s so easy to make patronising comments about that next table where every member of the family has their nose in a screen. But have you considered you’re only witnessing one sliver in time?
Perhaps they had a whole screen-less day out, bonding at the playground or the zoo. Perhaps after thousands of meals together as a family, we should trust parents to have a sense of what works to occupy children in different situations.
Sometimes it's books, but that depends on how long the food takes to be served and how many books we want to lug around. Other times, colouring materials work, but I don’t want to be picking up markers from the food court floor every two minutes.
If we do tough it out without screens, then don’t glare at us if the children start getting restless and rowdy. Parents who try to manage tantrums appropriately get judged if we don’t shut down the disturbance immediately too. Will those who judge parents for screen use be gracious in the face of meltdowns or be the first to call for "no-kid zones"?
GUIDELINES ARE JUST THAT
Ultimately, guidelines are just that. Screens have become an indispensable tool in the arsenal of modern parenting and like all tools, come with their own costs and benefits.
The shows my children watch seem to have boosted their vocabulary, introduced numeracy and exposed them to all sorts of animals. The trick is not letting the negatives cancel out the positives.
So it’s useful to know what Singapore experts deem the healthy limits of screen time: No screen use for those younger than 18 months old, less than one hour a day for those aged three to six, and less than two hours a day unless for schoolwork for those aged seven to 12.
Even without a proper study, it wouldn't be farfetched to think most kids already exceed those guidelines. Mine certainly have.
But read the MOH guidelines more closely, it’s not about obsessively clocking times on a stopwatch either. In setting the recommended time limits, the guidelines underline the need for sufficient time set aside for other activities for children to lead healthy lives.
What are the activities on option? If screen time comes at the expense of socialising or real-life learning, then one is clearly the poorer use of their time. If it’s monsoon surge weekend and we’re running out of ideas to fill the hours indoors, then more TV than usual will probably not hurt.
Related:
Being present and viewing media together is another one. Screen quality matters. Familiarity with the characters and stories also comes in handy when reinforcing lessons or new words, and they can also provide ideas for real-life activities.
PARENTS, CHECK YOUR BEHAVIOUR TOO
My personal approach has also been to help my children learn to self-regulate. Growing up as a latchkey kid of the 90s, the television was freely accessible. Boring free-to-air programming was the natural regulator.
But with video platforms serving up content optimised to enthrall and keep them hooked, self-regulation becomes a necessary skill to learn. When my children request screen time, they are asked to set their own limit on the number of videos to watch, after which the expectation is that they turn it off without prompting.
No, it doesn’t work all the time. But when prompted to act again, they almost always choose to turn the device off themselves than let me do it. I like to think this gives them a sense of agency, and they seem more ready to self-engage thereafter.
Things can only get worse as my children grow up, start asking for a personal device and enter the age where they are most susceptible to the dangers of social media.
And I’m cognisant that I won’t look credible from where they are standing: I stare at a screen for work in a job that thrives on others staring at their screens, and pull out a different screen for leisure.
“Mama, can you put down your phone and play with me?” My daughter called me out the other night. Clearly, I’ll have to work on myself too - but let me be the judge of that.
Charlene Tan is a senior editor at CNA Digital where she oversees commentaries.
Continue reading...